Friday, February 17, 2012

Overwhelmed with support for baby and I

I want to say thank you to everyone who has shown their support for both myself and Baby S during this incredibly difficult time. I have no idea still where this is going to go, but I have never felt so much love and support.

At the urging of a lot of my Facebook friends I have decided to go forth and create a chip-in account just for Baby S.

At this point the contributions will go towards hopefully getting an amnio done and obtaining legal counsel. I am not sure exactly how much this is going to cost so I have set the goal at $5,000. The doctors at the specialist office speculated that the amnio would cost at least $2,500 if not more. The retainer for the lawyer that I am looking to hire is $2,000. Anything extra will go towards paying the bills so that my family and I will be able to continue to live in our home.

Please contribute if/what you can. No obligation, and no hard feelings if you can't offer anything

We are also thinking of doing an online benefit auction. If you are interested in donating please use the comments and I will try to get in contact with you.


  1. No need to pay for legal counsel. We can get you legal counsel for free. Absolutely. E-mail me at and I'll put you in touch with the lawyers.

  2. Obviously you don't have to accept this, but this firm has some of the best lawyers in the country and regularly fights cases at the national level up to the Supreme Court. So it certainly seems worth exploring. I know they'll take your case at no cost.

    1. I just worry about their expertise in this state.. the lawyer I'm speaking with specializes in surrogacy issues in the state where I live.

  3. Ok. Up to you. However, I do know that they have lawyers in every state in the country. They're pretty huge. So it might still be a road worth pursuing, or at least exploring. I would suggest at least putting out the feelers to see what they can offer: there's no obligation to accept anything they offer. But it might save you a bundle in the long run if the case drags on. I do understand your desire for someone with expertise, but I wouldn't rule out that this firm doesn't have that. I'm extremely involved in the whole conservative/pro-life network, and I know that there are a ton of resources available.

  4. ((HUGS)) I have shared your story on my Facebook and my business website. Half the sales in raw baltic amber necklaces and class tuition will be put in the Baby S fund! I hope we can help you reach that goal and more!

  5. In 1981 my mother was told the child she was carrying, who she prayed for for 18 years, would probably be downs syndrome since she was 45 when she conceived. The DR then tried to talk her into a amino and my mother refused since A: she was getting her baby that she would live no matter what and B: the dr who would preform the test was the same one who wanted her to terminate the pregnancy, and in that time there was a chance the needle could puncture the baby and kill it.

    That baby was me. Despite all the negative the dr thought, all tr things they said may be/go wrong I not only was born healthy but I was in advance classes.

    Go with what your heart is telling you to do. God does not put these things in your life to hurt you. They are there to give each of us a chance to be a good person and do the right thing.

  6. I can tell you now most of the tests they give you are wrong!i had a specialist tell me that there was something wrong w my babys heart and that my test came out she had downs syndrom.they then told started talking about terminateing my pregnancy..then told me or i could have an amnio but that from what they saw on the sonagram things didnt look good.i was a wreck!!! i told them i would have the amnio.i did.there was nothing wrong.there test was inaccurate wich if you google the tests they give most the time that one comes up WRONG!!! Do not let these dr.s shove an abortion in your face!even if there had been something wrong i would of had her! i would show the surragate parents that these tests are WRONG!!! and that no matter what this is THEIR child!!! you take it the way god gives it to you and be happy that you have a beautiful happy baby.if they dont want it there are a million people out there that do.there are tons of venues to persue.i would definately go w the free lawyer that the other person was suggesting seems like a GREAT option for you right now.the life of a child is worth every penny and more...god bless and good luck!!

  7. I have a few questions for you. First of all, I want to say that I am very sorry you are going through this. It has to be horrible for both you and your ip's.

    My first question is about this "chip in fund?" I am trying to understand why the money raised would need to help go to paying bills so you can stay in your home? I understand your needing help to pay for the amnio testing, but I do not understand why the extra money should go to your personal bills? A surrogate should be financially stable, you do not sound like you are and most people would not feel comfortable giving money to you. It would be better if you could find someone who is not involved with you to handle the money. I would feel very comfortable donating to the drs office directly so the money goes to the right purpose.

    Another question. What does your contract say about termination? I understand how hard this would be for both you and your ip's but does your contract state that you will terminate for a serious defect? Also, why would you not accept free legal help? Surrogates usually have their own personal lawyers to help them in these situations. Do you have a lawyer? Does your contract state that you should have a lawyer paid for at your ip's expense?

    Last question is did you go through an agency? If you did I am wondering if they could help you to figure out these things.

    I can not understand why you would turn down a free lawyer, take their help.

    I will be praying for you. I agree that you should have the amnio testing done and if you find a way to let people pay the drs office directly I would love to donate.

    1. Hi Surromommy-
      I hope that I can assume you are a surrogate yourself.
      For your first question- yes, I am in a very bad position now. This was not the case when I began my surro journey; I had a job, I had a partner, and I had a stable living situation. However, we all know that nothing in life is guaranteed, and shortly after becoming pregnant not only did I lose my job, but my partner and I split up and I had to find my own place to live. I am not proud that the compensation from my surrogacy has been supporting myself and my kids for the last 5 months, but in my line of work unemployment isn't an option and jobs are hard to come by, especially when you are pregnant and have other children.
      The reason I created the chip-in is for friends, and people who are comfortable giving a little to help a single, unemployed mom who is desperately trying to do the right thing are able to do so. If you are not comfortable, then that is your prerogative. I won't judge you or be angry about it.. everyone has their reasons for everything they do. I have no idea how to set up a fund so that the monies can go directly to the doctors office; if you would like to offer some help in that area I would certainly not reject it.

      Secondly, the contract clause about termination is spelled out in a previous post. As someone had said in a separate post just because the contract allows for termination in the case of x,y,or z doesn't mean that it's mandatory, just that if x, y, or z occur it becomes an option. That goes for both parties, the IPs and myself. The language is unfortunately pretty open to subjective opinion, and mine differs from that of the IPs in this case.

      Thirdly, I never said I was turning down free legal help. I am exploring my options at the moment; I have not gotten to the point where I need a lawyer, and from what I understood from my meeting today with the agent (yes, we went through an agency) the IPs will let me out of the contract without a fight. I simply won't receive compensation, which is why the chip-in then becomes important. After all, it would be very difficult to properly care for this child, continue as a student, care for my other children and my dog, without the support of these amazing people who I am blessed to call my friends.

  8. I am not flaming you,
    but you need to call your agency and tell them that they need to have your IP's pay your legal fees. Standered contracts usually have that the your ip's should pay for legal fees. The agency needs to step up and help you with this. This would be one less financial stress on you and your fund could go for the testing.

    Also you will not have any problem finding loving people to adopt this baby.

    Yes, I am an experienced surrogate and thank you for answering my questions. I hope you will take my advise and contact the agency, they should be here to protect you.

    1. Unfortunately I just re-read my contract and it states that each party is responsible for retaining their own lawyer and the losing party will be responsible for paying the legal fees for both. This sucks. I am calling the pp about the legal aid.


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