Thursday, June 2, 2011

I hate artificial hormones!!

Let me just start by saying that I've been off of hormonal birth control for almost 3 years now.. with good reason.

When I had my oldest daughter, I went on the NuvaRing for birth control shortly after her birth. The doctors never mentioned anything about the synthetic hormones contributing to postpartum depression or hindering the production of breast milk when I made the decision to use it. By the time she was 5 months old I was so angry and depressed all the time that I was barely functional. I made the decision to stop the hormones, and while the depression took a while to subside, I noticed a significant difference in my anger.

When I had my second child, I made a conscious decision not to go back on synthetic hormones for birth control. I chose the Para-Guard, and while I hated having an IUD, I did not experience the postpartum depression or the anger issues I had with my first daughter. 

Since I am now a contracted surrogate and the process is starting to move along, the clinic I am working with has placed me on 'April', a birth control pill to regulate my cycle and bring me to their preferred 28 day cycle for transfer. It has been a long time since I was on hormones, and I'm not exactly liking the effects.

For one, I'm feeling angry a lot. Tired, irritable, impatient, and its affecting my relationships. This morning I flipped out on my dad for asking (numerous times) 'what?' Told him he was being nosy and to stop butting in on everything I did.
This of course led to a not-so-great morning and subsequently another fight when he said something about me having all the free time in the world to do things like make my own lemonade. He said I should 'get off Facebook and do something'. Like he has any clue what I do around here, how much I bust my butt keeping the kids happy, house cleaned, food prepared, and all the other things that I do. So yes, I got mad. I'd normally get mad, but I wouldn't normally start  yelling just for that. Of course, it only made things worse and he called me a 'neurotic psycho'.. which set me off even more.

This isn't the first time my dad has set me off, and I"m sure it won't be the last. Things between us have been pretty different after I had children. It's like he wants to be their parent, and treat me like just another child. But this is different. The last couple of days I have felt like my entire mood is getting worse. I"m feeling irritated a lot more, I'm much quicker to snap, and my poor kids have been getting the brunt of it. I certainly still try to stand by my values, I don't spank and we talk things out frequently, but I do notice that I am a lot quicker to yell before looking at what's going on and less willing to let them work things out for themselves. This is what artificial hormones do to me, and I am not a fan.

I am just glad that this will be short-lived. I"m only on the birth control for a two week period, and then start the <gasp> hormone injections. Those will probably make things worse, but at least its all for a good reason, and it will all be worth it in the end. My second and third trimesters of pregnancy are when I feel the best about myself and everything around me, so I'm looking forward to that change. I just hope everyone can deal with me until then!!


  1. Hang in there Kristal!! I remember being on a particular bc pill that did that to me too, though most don't. Just like an mental side effect from any drug you need to just try extra hard to stop yourself and think before you react. Since you are aware of how the hormones effect you it may be a bit easier than for someone who has no idea why they are acting the way they are. Those who really love you will understand that this is a temporary thing. {{HUGZ}}

  2. I have to agree. Birth control makes me angry. I get upset faster and start yelling quicker. I'm just plain mean when I'm on BC.

  3. I think birth control made my ppd ten times worse. I also think as a teen I was out of control of my moods because of it and regret a ton of things I did because I had no control over them. It was as if they dictated what I did what I said what how I acted where I went my entire life wasn't my own. I ended up shutting out most of the people in my life the first few months of my sons life and now they are gone and I essentially have no one so yeah, Es no bueno lol hang in there I'm rooting for you I think it's ridiculous they have you on it in the first place chaste berry is just as affective


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