Let me just start by saying that I've been off of hormonal birth control for almost 3 years now.. with good reason.
When I had my oldest daughter, I went on the NuvaRing for birth control shortly after her birth. The doctors never mentioned anything about the synthetic hormones contributing to postpartum depression or hindering the production of breast milk when I made the decision to use it. By the time she was 5 months old I was so angry and depressed all the time that I was barely functional. I made the decision to stop the hormones, and while the depression took a while to subside, I noticed a significant difference in my anger.
When I had my second child, I made a conscious decision not to go back on synthetic hormones for birth control. I chose the Para-Guard, and while I hated having an IUD, I did not experience the postpartum depression or the anger issues I had with my first daughter.
Since I am now a contracted surrogate and the process is starting to move along, the clinic I am working with has placed me on 'April', a birth control pill to regulate my cycle and bring me to their preferred 28 day cycle for transfer. It has been a long time since I was on hormones, and I'm not exactly liking the effects.
For one, I'm feeling angry a lot. Tired, irritable, impatient, and its affecting my relationships. This morning I flipped out on my dad for asking (numerous times) 'what?' Told him he was being nosy and to stop butting in on everything I did.
This of course led to a not-so-great morning and subsequently another fight when he said something about me having all the free time in the world to do things like make my own lemonade. He said I should 'get off Facebook and do something'. Like he has any clue what I do around here, how much I bust my butt keeping the kids happy, house cleaned, food prepared, and all the other things that I do. So yes, I got mad. I'd normally get mad, but I wouldn't normally start yelling just for that. Of course, it only made things worse and he called me a 'neurotic psycho'.. which set me off even more.
This isn't the first time my dad has set me off, and I"m sure it won't be the last. Things between us have been pretty different after I had children. It's like he wants to be their parent, and treat me like just another child. But this is different. The last couple of days I have felt like my entire mood is getting worse. I"m feeling irritated a lot more, I'm much quicker to snap, and my poor kids have been getting the brunt of it. I certainly still try to stand by my values, I don't spank and we talk things out frequently, but I do notice that I am a lot quicker to yell before looking at what's going on and less willing to let them work things out for themselves. This is what artificial hormones do to me, and I am not a fan.
I am just glad that this will be short-lived. I"m only on the birth control for a two week period, and then start the <gasp> hormone injections. Those will probably make things worse, but at least its all for a good reason, and it will all be worth it in the end. My second and third trimesters of pregnancy are when I feel the best about myself and everything around me, so I'm looking forward to that change. I just hope everyone can deal with me until then!!