Writing has always been soothing to me. It seems like I say things better in writing than I ever could hope to in real life.When I was younger I would write notes to my parents, telling them how mad I was about some teenage injustice. When I broke up with my first boyfriend I wrote a 5 page letter and burned it in my back yard. I have always loved to write.
It was suggested to me many times that I should write S's story, to remind myself, and tell her about what happened before she was born. Everyone I met on my journey would tell me that it sounded like something out of a Lifetime channel movie. Heck, I thought that myself.
So when I was pregnant, I started writing little notes. I dedicated a notebook to the baby, and saved everything that I could get. Medical charts, social work notes from the hospitals, my records and hers. I would write in my notebook what happened, not usually very specific, but enough so that I remembered the big events. It turned into a box, and now that she's no longer with me, that box helps me to remember my little angel.
When I was first introduced in the eye of the media, I spent a lot of time explaining things, and trying to make people understand my feelings on the matter of surrogacy and my personal feelings about my situation. There were some misconceptions made, incorrect data reported in the media, and of course we all know that once something is put on the internet there is no taking it back. Of course, stating that you did something for money isn't just a little 'something'.
So when I was approached about writing a book to tell the whole story, I said yes.
Fire Within: A Surrogate's Journey is the insider edition of the Baby S story. If you want to know about what I was doing before I got pregnant, it's in there. If you want to know what the date was that I moved to Michigan, it's in there. If you want to know how I feel about this entire escapade, do I need to tell you where to look?
My Facebook page is here: Fire Within
I'm not here to tell you what to think of me. I'm not even here to beg you not to think that what I did was wrong. I am asking you to take a good read into my side, and think about yourself and what you really think about your morals. If you would have made a different choice than I did, well as much as it doesn't give me much faith in humanity as a whole, I won't hate you for that. I just ask that you embrace on thing..
We're all human.