Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Turning it all around!!

New Year's Day 2015
The Day it all changed

For many years now, I've lived under the shadow of the emotional trauma that comes with the type of experience that I've had. 

I had my good times,and my bad times. The bad times probably outweighed the good most of the time, but there were still some very good times. 
I've lived in a lot of crazy situations since I moved back from Michigan.

*In my ex's parents house
*In a hotel
*In a house that was undergoing eviction
*With my ex
*On my own

I always looked for things to get better by some kind of magic. The right job had to fall into my lap, or the right guy had to come along and make everything better. 
It was a story that I'd told myself for so many years that I really believed it. 
Without 'help' I was always just stuck. 

So on New Year's Eve, I took my kids out, and my friend's kids.. and we all had a blast. My daughter's father did not join us. 
He did not come home afterwards either. 
I. Was. Angry. 

 But as I lay in my bed the next morning, all alone, I had an epiphany of sorts if you will. 
I realized that my actions were my own, and that maybe I had something to do with how the night had ended. After all, my anger had turned a simple miscommunication into a big fight that he had decided not to come back because of. 

And that was when it hit me. 
I wasn't living in a way that was making things better. 
I was living a life of anger, disappointment, and hurt. And it was hurting those around me.
Very quickly I realized some very important things:

I had to Live In Love if I wanted things to be different.

I had to Live in Hope

I did it once before.. with a little girl named S. She was the greatest teacher of  
Love and Hope
that I could possibly have asked for. 
Through her, I know that living in love is possible. I know that living with hope is worthwhile. I know that great things can truly happen. 

So now I am living in Hope
Hope that you all believe in these things as much as I do. 
The lessons that I learned while carrying this girl are things that apply to people of all ages, all backgrounds. They are messages of self-worth, of determination and strength. 
These are the stories that the world NEEDS to hear! 

The biggest part of livin in Love and Hope when you are working to enrich the lives of others is always to also be sure you are living in Action!

The Ultimate Love Story:
Saving Stormie: The Baby S Story

We are running a campaign on Kickstarter  
it ends Jan. 24th

The goal is to raise $9000
which will be used for 
Publication expenses
Attorney fees
Author's Insurance
Travel to Michigan for records

We are offering several donation levels, with many different prizes for donating. 
We have t-shirts
Personalized thank you notes
opportunities to ask questions
naming of a character
and art rewards coming in the last two weeks! 

We would be so thankful for your support! 
It has  been stated elsewhere before, but our supporters are the reason that Baby S has made it as far as she has. We love you!!

You can follow the link above or click HERE


  1. I could never be a surrogate. I couldn't grow something inside me for 9 months and then give it to someone else. While that might sound selfish, it's a piece of me I'd be giving away and I just don't think I could handle it.

  2. Living in Hope and Love is something everyone has to learn to do. I admire you for taking this stand even when life is hard.

    And Nicole, I'm sure many women feel the same as you, but other women also have great reasons for becoming a surrogate mother. You can find some of these reasons here:

  3. Being a surrogate is not a worse thing. I think it is the best help for the needy infertile couples that they are giving. They delivers and carries a child for another couple. This is the biggest deal that everyone cannot provide this. I have seen many surrogate mothers in Surrogacy Center in Delhi and also heard the stories from them that how they feel when they carry a baby for another people.

    1. Sumita, my trauma is not from the surrogacy itself, but the events that occurred along the way. Surrogacy is beautiful and I can't imagine a greater joy than having the happy ending that surrogacy is supposed to have. My children.. all of them.. are a blessing to the world and to their families <3

  4. Hearing the words, “unable to conceive” can be extremely dishearting for those families unable to conceive. Women who offer surrogacy provide that unconditional love, life, and hope to many that can't provide for themselves. When choosing to become a surrogate, they are ultimately making a decision to make a selfless act for another family.


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