tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36413144962514170562013-03-04T18:48:48.173-08:00Adventures of a Broken SoulThe Journey to Whole MomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3641314496251417056.post-42468623814202717882012-12-05T11:54:00.000-08:002012-12-05T11:54:01.791-08:00New-Old blogHi everybody! This is a new blog for the Kelley/Young family! If you're seeing this for the first time, welcome! If you're confused; you have every reason to be :) </br></br>The blog for my sweet Baby S has been changed several times over the last few days. This came after the realization that the surrogacy story is going to be going public fairly soon, and there is a great need to anonymize the beautiful baby and her adoptive family to protect their privacy. I've been transferring posts to the new blog (this one) today, and have renamed the other blog. You can see it at: </br><a href="http://surrogateinsanity.blogspot.com">Surrogate Insanity</a></br>In the meantime, if you would like to continue to follow our family blog as well feel free to do so! Thanks! </br></br>Kristal and the kidsMomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3641314496251417056.post-71507736546320388802012-12-05T11:43:00.003-08:002012-12-05T11:43:33.265-08:00I apologize, as this post is very long. It's a repost, minus the first few sentences, but it is something that I feel it is important to include in my new family blog. So here it is. If you've seen it before, feel free to skip: </br> Auria had a birthday party. It was awesome.<br />3) Irelyn contracted MRSA and had to go through some painful procedures to rid her little butt of an infection. She is now much better and no longer in pain.<br />4) Jeremy and I are no longer living together. I found out some things.. and he is staying with a friend until I figure out where I am moving to. Our relationship has reached the 'un-fixable' stage.<br /><br />On the issue of #4 I have decided that I need to do a little soul searching and air out some of the feelings and issues that I have with the situation. I"m not going to get into graphic details, but there are some serious issues that I want to get off my chest. This is not intended to point fingers, to lay blame, to excuse or to do anything but give you a little insight into the mind of the BrokenSoul and the thoughts that exist there on a daily basis. They make up a lot of who I am, and I realize I am a difficult and complicated person. If this helps one person to understand me a little better, then it has served its purpose.<br /><br />And so.. here we go:<br /><br />My 'love life' has always been one of complication, mistrust, betrayal, and more. Every negative thing that you can imagine happening to someone in a relationship, has happened to me. My very first love.. was a compulsive liar and a 'here one day gone the next' kind of guy. I spent years waiting by the phone every day hoping he would call, relishing every moment I had with him, and then waiting anxiously for the phone to ring again. We had (and lost) two babies, neither of which did he know about until they were already gone. The first one, I was in college, my first time really away from home, and I was told that he was dead. He was an adventurous guy, into all sorts of crazy dangerous stuff, and pissed off some very dangerous people. These people found me, all the way in KY, and held me at gunpoint threatening me if I didn't tell them where he was. I had no clue, and luckily they didn't hurt me, but I did lose my little girl Miranda at 19 weeks. Two weeks later he mysteriously shows up, called me on my dorm phone asking if I"m ok and how our baby is. I still don't know why I stayed with him except that I was so happy he wasn't dead and that 'those people' hadn't found him. Baby #2 happened shortly after my return to MO, but with the stress of the situation I didn't make it very far and miscarried at 9 weeks. Since I'd had 2 miscarriages in under 2 years, they did some testing on the fetus and I learned that I'd lost a little boy. I named him Christopher. His father never asked what had happened, and about 3 months later, I had had enough. I moved to CT with my dad and that was the end of 'us'.<br /><br />Skip forward a few years, and a few boyfriends later. Short relationships, nothing I considered serious, until I met DB. He was a sweet talker, and I fell for him very quickly. He was in and out, he told me he worked a lot and I believed him. He'd call and we'd see each other for a few days and then he'd disappear for a week or so. I didn't think too much of this, but I missed him when he wasn't around and threw myself into making him happy when he was. After about a year of dating him, he broke the news to me that he had gotten another girl pregnant. I was devastated. We were separated for about 6 months before he called me and told me that he'd made a huge mistake and he loved me and wanted me back. Stupid me. I was with him for 4 years, on and off, with him going off and having flings all the time, but always coming back to me. I justified it that he always came back to me, so I must be special. When he was done 'figuring himself out' it would be me that he chose, because he always came back.<br /><br />Sometime in the midst of all this on and off with DB, I met someone else. That someone was unlike anyone that I had met before, and unlike anybody I've met to this day. He 'arrived' during one of my off-periods with DB, and we had a connection then. I kept leaving him, putting him off, not forming a relationship because I was just waiting for DB to come to his senses and realize what I wanted with him. But he never went away. I could never push him hard enough that he wouldn't come back, or that I couldn't apologize and make it better. He was my stand-by.. my go-to when nothing else was going right, and he got me through a lot of really dark times where I may not have made it through on my own. When I finally did get the courage to leave DB completely, he was there as a friend, with no pressure to make anything official or move past where we were to anything else. I knew he loved me, but he never made me feel like I had to love him back. He knew that my walls were there, he knew why they were there, and he never challenged my security. In fact, it wasn't until he moved out of state that I realized that I did love him, and at that point it was too late.<br /><br />I had met Jeremy a few weeks earlier. I was still very protective over myself because of the hurt I had gone through with DB, and did not want a relationship. He said the same thing.. so I was ok with it. My go-to was safe because nothing was expected to come of this. Until I my go-to left. I was in the middle of crisis myself, being evicted from my apartment and all the stress and turmoil that came with that, being forced to get rid of my beloved ferrets, my money troubles; I was stressed and at odds myself. I was *thisclose* to calling him up and asking him to take me away when two pink lines changed everything.<br /><br />I'll never regret either of my children. Sure, they've brought me to exactly where I am today. They are the reason that I stayed for as long as I did. But they are my little bright spots, and I will never ever have a single day where I wish I did not have them. I could live with out the conflict, but not without my girls.<br /><br />**at this point I"d like to take a break. This is getting to be a lot longer than I anticipated and I'm not even close to done. Enjoy some pictures of the babes**<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uRXNiNErLTI/TjC_rC0Rd4I/AAAAAAAAAD0/XvVhNun8ce0/s1600/036.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uRXNiNErLTI/TjC_rC0Rd4I/AAAAAAAAAD0/XvVhNun8ce0/s320/036.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OeR9q8r3kXU/TjC_5zN8LVI/AAAAAAAAAD4/HUDrve6MRhQ/s1600/059.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OeR9q8r3kXU/TjC_5zN8LVI/AAAAAAAAAD4/HUDrve6MRhQ/s320/059.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Now back to my post:<br /><br />Now I'm not going to try to justify what has happened over the last almost-4 years with Jeremy. We made mistakes, our relationship was never perfect, and postpartum depression took a huge toll on us both. I"m not saying he's at fault, I"m not saying I"m at fault. Draw your own conclusions if you will.. but here's a little cross-analysis.<br /><br />I spent a lot of my early relationship years getting screwed over in one way or another. I've had a lot of really dirty dealings brought upon me by those who I thought cared about me. The one person who didn't do that to me, I never thought I cared about them until they were gone. At that point, it was too late.<br /><br />My postpartum depression really took a toll on everybody. I take full credit for everything that I did to hurt people back then. I was in a very bad dark place, and I didn't know how to deal with it, and I made a lot of very rash decisions that didn't work out so well. My own daughter is a result of those decisions. Coincidentally, my entire relationship breakdown seems to be a result of those decisions as well.<br /><br />I realize now that I was looking for what I thought I had lost. After dealing with the depression, getting past a truly difficult time with my oldest daughter and realizing that life would never be the same, I had a bit of a panic moment. I wanted my old life back. I wanted the things that I had before I became a mom. Most of all, I wanted to feel the same way I remembered feeling with that person who never let me push them away. Depression does really horrid things to a person, making them relive all their past mistakes, all the past injustices, over and over and over again. That can really make a person's walls go straight back up and put them into defense mode without even realizing it. I know now that that's exactly where I was. Add in the fact that my 'happy' is a lot less happy than it is for most people, and it brings a lot of things into perspective.<br /><br />I don't remember a lot of things, but one of the things that sticks out the most about the failure in this relationship was a lack of coordinated efforts. I never said what I needed, he never said.. well, much of anything. I wanted what I'd had before I met him, he was hurt and didn't want to put himself 'out there'. I can't say I blame him, but we never talked about it.. just tried to pretend everything was ok and that we were doing well together. We obviously weren't. In our efforts to try and protect ourselves from whatever it was we feared, we sabotaged not only each other, but ourselves as well. Neither one of us could get what we needed while we were at high defensive alert and we were both looking for exactly what the other person wasn't willing or able to put forth. I guess all in all the last 2 years have been more of a show than any true attempt to mend what was broken.<br /><br />But.. we still have two beautiful girls. Regardless of anything we will always have two little lights shining on us even in our darkest hours. <br /><br />I still want what I had. And I have no idea if it's still out there. I hope it is. But I guess only time will tell whether or not its there, and whether or not I can find it again. Wish me luck.<br /><br />To conclude, birthday party and beach trip pictures:<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-D7925bezo4I/TjDhvpd6pII/AAAAAAAAAD8/QP5fvpV0sbs/s1600/056.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-D7925bezo4I/TjDhvpd6pII/AAAAAAAAAD8/QP5fvpV0sbs/s320/056.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9K9GcNc5Myk/TjDhzm6mFZI/AAAAAAAAAEA/O4QBNMMHjKY/s1600/dadscam+069.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9K9GcNc5Myk/TjDhzm6mFZI/AAAAAAAAAEA/O4QBNMMHjKY/s320/dadscam+069.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UX-y-1D6l8M/TjDiM4RUr_I/AAAAAAAAAEE/firPO0HU9BM/s1600/029.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UX-y-1D6l8M/TjDiM4RUr_I/AAAAAAAAAEE/firPO0HU9BM/s320/029.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QPC72MfQJ-M/TjDiYLz1iaI/AAAAAAAAAEI/O_HirTPqRzg/s1600/034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QPC72MfQJ-M/TjDiYLz1iaI/AAAAAAAAAEI/O_HirTPqRzg/s320/034.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2bEOOaBPu_E/TjDikvCaKII/AAAAAAAAAEM/MBMPthqfPlA/s1600/043.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2bEOOaBPu_E/TjDikvCaKII/AAAAAAAAAEM/MBMPthqfPlA/s320/043.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-S_I7CQsg3JU/TjDircRlaHI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/sZNWHR6Nazg/s1600/065.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-S_I7CQsg3JU/TjDircRlaHI/AAAAAAAAAEQ/sZNWHR6Nazg/s320/065.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>MomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3641314496251417056.post-34434868400700240982012-12-05T11:40:00.001-08:002012-12-05T11:40:07.801-08:00The hoax of 'locally produced milk' (repost)I'm glad I never started paying higher prices for the 'CT produced The Farmer's Cow milk'. I know a lot of people who assume that because it is produced locally it must be better than, say, Land o'Lakes, Garelick Farms, or Dairyland milk. What I saw today and the information that was posted around the farm as well as confirmed by the owner of the farm itself leave me believing less than that is true.<br /><br />Yes, my kids had fun. Yes, the tour was informative and I am glad I got to see the inner workings of milk production for 'The Farmer's Cow'. Yes, the baby cows were adorable and I wanted to take them home. Yes, the ice cream was yummy (and yes, I caved..) But will I be running out to buy more 'The Farmer's Cow' products? No.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3PBXt-YGEhw/Thj_AkCp_qI/AAAAAAAAADg/NlFVEKum554/s1600/farmerscowauria+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YET8tTmB_T0/Thj_A-vC_7I/AAAAAAAAADk/Z0avbwSar_w/s1600/farmerscowiley+-+Copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-YET8tTmB_T0/Thj_A-vC_7I/AAAAAAAAADk/Z0avbwSar_w/s200/farmerscowiley+-+Copy.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-z51pwkJFHPs/ThkuqEC-g9I/AAAAAAAAADs/mEREPXjxX3g/s1600/farmercow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-z51pwkJFHPs/ThkuqEC-g9I/AAAAAAAAADs/mEREPXjxX3g/s1600/farmercow.jpg" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RKuvnS66R8c/ThkuqSXU6uI/AAAAAAAAADw/R0ivuqw47hA/s1600/icecreamface.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RKuvnS66R8c/ThkuqSXU6uI/AAAAAAAAADw/R0ivuqw47hA/s1600/icecreamface.jpg" /></a></div>(sorry for the tiny photos.. they're off my phone since I left the camera at home.)MomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3641314496251417056.post-10630800047629971612012-12-05T11:32:00.002-08:002012-12-05T11:32:33.163-08:00Thanksgiving! (repost)Thanksgiving at my mother's was lots of fun. I really enjoy getting to go and spend a week with my family every year. Here are some highlight photos:<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9nN69xQammQ/UL5WmQVFGiI/AAAAAAAAAWc/a-BNbvxYs3k/s1600/126.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9nN69xQammQ/UL5WmQVFGiI/AAAAAAAAAWc/a-BNbvxYs3k/s400/126.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MKlShEwzBe0/UL5WzIz8edI/AAAAAAAAAXM/DiqvxnVbu54/s1600/149.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MKlShEwzBe0/UL5WzIz8edI/AAAAAAAAAXM/DiqvxnVbu54/s400/149.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rlAFCs5TDEk/UL5WnQ7NQnI/AAAAAAAAAWo/Xl0A8uggEZw/s1600/131.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rlAFCs5TDEk/UL5WnQ7NQnI/AAAAAAAAAWo/Xl0A8uggEZw/s400/131.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s5nP7hHycjs/UL5WoqJcPeI/AAAAAAAAAW0/sGQEtA3U170/s1600/138.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s5nP7hHycjs/UL5WoqJcPeI/AAAAAAAAAW0/sGQEtA3U170/s400/138.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-id-oNXBMkfM/UL5WpfQY02I/AAAAAAAAAW8/gmhQ_HYFTIk/s1600/148.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-id-oNXBMkfM/UL5WpfQY02I/AAAAAAAAAW8/gmhQ_HYFTIk/s400/148.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RyscANrs8z8/UL5Xe2O23_I/AAAAAAAAAXc/FuMMQPOo4CM/s1600/153.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-RyscANrs8z8/UL5Xe2O23_I/AAAAAAAAAXc/FuMMQPOo4CM/s400/153.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uv2UsRLgi1U/UL5XfwjjlrI/AAAAAAAAAXo/VXK7mninwNo/s1600/159.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uv2UsRLgi1U/UL5XfwjjlrI/AAAAAAAAAXo/VXK7mninwNo/s400/159.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9t0Biya6Wis/UL5Xg6a6fII/AAAAAAAAAXw/lNc6kJFidCw/s1600/167.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-9t0Biya6Wis/UL5Xg6a6fII/AAAAAAAAAXw/lNc6kJFidCw/s400/167.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pXj_EEOCju0/UL5XhZL5EAI/AAAAAAAAAYA/RwOLYNukGbU/s1600/175.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pXj_EEOCju0/UL5XhZL5EAI/AAAAAAAAAYA/RwOLYNukGbU/s400/175.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iYiAMN-rEqo/UL5XiXQsb4I/AAAAAAAAAYM/bdJP1clPFA0/s1600/182.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iYiAMN-rEqo/UL5XiXQsb4I/AAAAAAAAAYM/bdJP1clPFA0/s400/182.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CVoipiaBf4U/UL5YNUYSTDI/AAAAAAAAAYY/05OD8JicOxA/s1600/187.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CVoipiaBf4U/UL5YNUYSTDI/AAAAAAAAAYY/05OD8JicOxA/s400/187.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TdHjrxrwMOo/UL5YN6CcTmI/AAAAAAAAAYk/zvS-a6Gay1E/s1600/192.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TdHjrxrwMOo/UL5YN6CcTmI/AAAAAAAAAYk/zvS-a6Gay1E/s400/192.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5MhZAGcrVK0/UL5YORFtiuI/AAAAAAAAAYw/XPa7-_r257w/s1600/216.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5MhZAGcrVK0/UL5YORFtiuI/AAAAAAAAAYw/XPa7-_r257w/s400/216.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8u3celuZdmE/UL5YPtricGI/AAAAAAAAAY8/WWFTzwAQ9sY/s1600/221.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8u3celuZdmE/UL5YPtricGI/AAAAAAAAAY8/WWFTzwAQ9sY/s400/221.jpg" /></a> </br> We got family pics as well: </br><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ESUAiI3gvFk/UL5etdlD0tI/AAAAAAAAAZk/Kc6MjQrcwmY/s1600/hesskelleykids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="294" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ESUAiI3gvFk/UL5etdlD0tI/AAAAAAAAAZk/Kc6MjQrcwmY/s400/hesskelleykids.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9souGcooE7c/UL5euLAGR_I/AAAAAAAAAZw/784f0L7r7fU/s1600/momdadkids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="326" width="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9souGcooE7c/UL5euLAGR_I/AAAAAAAAAZw/784f0L7r7fU/s400/momdadkids.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WmtT05BYoc8/UL5eveBLerI/AAAAAAAAAZ8/pMUFFyAteG0/s1600/menkids.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="294" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WmtT05BYoc8/UL5eveBLerI/AAAAAAAAAZ8/pMUFFyAteG0/s400/menkids.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TMYnu-Cu3Rs/UL5ewBQwDkI/AAAAAAAAAaI/ngU6I0lxKqU/s1600/girls2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="400" width="294" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TMYnu-Cu3Rs/UL5ewBQwDkI/AAAAAAAAAaI/ngU6I0lxKqU/s400/girls2012.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MECCEzZABRg/UL5ex944poI/AAAAAAAAAaU/gT5yogs8O2U/s1600/gparents.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="326" width="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-MECCEzZABRg/UL5ex944poI/AAAAAAAAAaU/gT5yogs8O2U/s400/gparents.jpg" /></a> MomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3641314496251417056.post-1476947023099844662012-12-05T11:31:00.002-08:002012-12-05T11:31:39.199-08:00Auria's 4~ (repost)In the chaos of the last two weeks, I have not had time to do much that hasn't been related to baby. However, just as we took a day (2 actually) out of our busy schedules to celebrate then, I'd like to take a moment to recant my oldest daughter's birthday. </br></br>July 15th, 2008 was a day that changed my life forever. The day my oldest daughter; my flesh and blood introduction into the world of parenting, entered the world at 4:02pm, and my whole world was forever altered. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jbzBPVpK7AE/UBIisoA22FI/AAAAAAAAARE/Ka7RHiMB0yw/s1600/Auria0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jbzBPVpK7AE/UBIisoA22FI/AAAAAAAAARE/Ka7RHiMB0yw/s320/Auria0.jpg" /></a></div> This girl brought me on an amazing journey. She challenged me physically, mentally, emotionally. All the things I thought I knew she made me second-guess. From the day of her birth, her heart surgery at 3 months old, speech therapy, all the fun and all the challenges I am a better person and a better mother because of her. </br></br>Heart surgery, 3mos old:<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-B4hf84BNh7w/UBIjPVB0SrI/AAAAAAAAARQ/JNx2CFsXyy4/s1600/Auria3m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-B4hf84BNh7w/UBIjPVB0SrI/AAAAAAAAARQ/JNx2CFsXyy4/s320/Auria3m.jpg" /></a></div> One year old: <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jlxODGDB8Jk/UBIjYcefwDI/AAAAAAAAARc/hYzzleqjvIw/s1600/Auria1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="214" width="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jlxODGDB8Jk/UBIjYcefwDI/AAAAAAAAARc/hYzzleqjvIw/s320/Auria1.jpg" /></a></div> At two: <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TMiCtGMjG3A/UBIjobMVpSI/AAAAAAAAARo/JxjJJs_VUcs/s1600/Auria2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TMiCtGMjG3A/UBIjobMVpSI/AAAAAAAAARo/JxjJJs_VUcs/s320/Auria2.jpg" /></a></div> And three: <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wBpW4NEntb4/UBIjtxYgm2I/AAAAAAAAAR0/1kKkBjXS2WM/s1600/Auria3y.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wBpW4NEntb4/UBIjtxYgm2I/AAAAAAAAAR0/1kKkBjXS2WM/s320/Auria3y.jpg" /></a></div> My little 'butt butt' has gone from a baby, to a little girl. As much as she is still proving my former beliefs wrong and challenging me every day, I am so proud to be her mother, and the love that I have for her is so amazing that I can't even put it into words. </br></br>For the week prior to her birthday, but after the birth of the baby, Auria was on 'vacation' with Grandma. I let her go with the stipulation that she had to be home for her birthday. Her father was supposed to be the one to go to St. Louis and get her, but after days of trying to figure out the logistics it was decided that he would come to Michigan first, and we wold all go pick up Auria together. So at 7am on July 10th we all got in the van and drove three hours to meet my mother. A long breakfast at IHop later and she was back! We drove the three hours back, and stopped off for the rest of the day at a Celtic Faire in the area. </br><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jVvFg0Hh4cM/UBInXey98XI/AAAAAAAAASM/M2Khh0tZpS0/s1600/CAM00228.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jVvFg0Hh4cM/UBInXey98XI/AAAAAAAAASM/M2Khh0tZpS0/s320/CAM00228.jpg" /></a> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C-ojr4w9Kyo/UBInX4lRTGI/AAAAAAAAASY/CmGouJRwREc/s1600/CAM00245.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C-ojr4w9Kyo/UBInX4lRTGI/AAAAAAAAASY/CmGouJRwREc/s320/CAM00245.jpg" /></a> </br> Although we weren't able to have our traditional beach day on her birthday this year, we decided that the water was a must-have anyways. We invited a few friends, and headed to Turtle Cove. The park was great, the weather was awesome, and the kids were.. well.. kids! Auria discovered a newfound bravery for going under buckets of falling water and sliding down waterslides; and poor Irelyn sat dazedly and watched her sister, or clung to myself and her father. We didn't realize until the next day that she wasn't feeling well. A little cookie-cake from Insomnia Cookies made her day though, and was thoroughly enjoyed by all (except the park employee who told us we couldn't eat in the park. Psh.. yeah, cuz you're gonna stop 3 toddlers and 4 adults from having some birthday cake!) </br><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M780ndOwMyg/UBIpPq5vMpI/AAAAAAAAASk/F88M1QqShkM/s1600/100_0556.JPG" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-M780ndOwMyg/UBIpPq5vMpI/AAAAAAAAASk/F88M1QqShkM/s320/100_0556.JPG" /></a> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g220vfZGFvA/UBIpP-RFNLI/AAAAAAAAASw/jTlKYHg4aiI/s1600/100_0559.JPG" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-g220vfZGFvA/UBIpP-RFNLI/AAAAAAAAASw/jTlKYHg4aiI/s320/100_0559.JPG" /></a> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_5EuzZh_YzE/UBIpQWrj2mI/AAAAAAAAAS8/oZl3ShbyJxs/s1600/100_0568.JPG" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_5EuzZh_YzE/UBIpQWrj2mI/AAAAAAAAAS8/oZl3ShbyJxs/s320/100_0568.JPG" /></a> <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hWIwqYQTB5I/UBIpQyy6ewI/AAAAAAAAATI/PbSiFmpQ0yc/s1600/100_0574.JPG" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hWIwqYQTB5I/UBIpQyy6ewI/AAAAAAAAATI/PbSiFmpQ0yc/s320/100_0574.JPG" /></a> <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eH2O8drGR5U/UBIpRIBxQZI/AAAAAAAAATU/t1wyfBaVJAc/s1600/100_0581.JPG" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eH2O8drGR5U/UBIpRIBxQZI/AAAAAAAAATU/t1wyfBaVJAc/s320/100_0581.JPG" /></a> <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-l_UNOAM9W_4/UBIpeo4EqAI/AAAAAAAAATg/_-E1N93JWMQ/s1600/100_0582.JPG" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-l_UNOAM9W_4/UBIpeo4EqAI/AAAAAAAAATg/_-E1N93JWMQ/s320/100_0582.JPG" /></a> <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2TwKse39S1I/UBIpe8mhBmI/AAAAAAAAATs/EohNSRPIDUg/s1600/100_0586.JPG" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-2TwKse39S1I/UBIpe8mhBmI/AAAAAAAAATs/EohNSRPIDUg/s320/100_0586.JPG" /></a></br>I can't believe it.. my baby is 4!</br>We will have a big birthday/welcome home celebration when we finally do get back to CT. By then, she should have this pose down pat! </br><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_AarCcAFFsY/UBIqFQYdPDI/AAAAAAAAAT4/kNzhxPxBjL4/s1600/100_0554.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="400" width="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_AarCcAFFsY/UBIqFQYdPDI/AAAAAAAAAT4/kNzhxPxBjL4/s400/100_0554.JPG" /></a></div>MomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3641314496251417056.post-20390276027112498372012-12-05T11:30:00.003-08:002012-12-05T11:30:15.415-08:00Chicken pox! (repost)o you know how when things get tough and you feel like crawling in a hole.. that's the exact time when something happens to remind you that you're not the only person facing adversity, and that life goes on regardless of what troubles and tribulations are happening in your world? Well I've had a small little reminder of that this week. You know how I said that Mother's Day was just kinda blah for me this year. Well... I kinda exaggerated. Yes, it was just like most other days.. yes I really missed my friends and family, and yes! I did feel a bit less appreciated than I have in the years that I've had Mother's Day at home with my friends and family. But one thing did happen that I was able to get excited about and at the same time made me wonder what the hell kinda drama I get myself into: <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--nyY-U-jrlQ/T7b7lJ1C2_I/AAAAAAAAAFo/xVNjGb4Ifcg/s1600/101_0031.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--nyY-U-jrlQ/T7b7lJ1C2_I/AAAAAAAAAFo/xVNjGb4Ifcg/s320/101_0031.JPG" /></a></div> Little butt got chicken pox. SO my world stays interesting, to say the least. For the last week I have been dealing with cranky pants as well as the other one.. it's been challenging, it's been eye opening, and most of all it only happened to one child! So here is a quick progression of Little Butt's dealings with the big bad Chicken Pox! Day 1: <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6mbq7RHK2i8/T7cDux7GKqI/AAAAAAAAAG4/UXsupfAMyWs/s1600/101_0034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6mbq7RHK2i8/T7cDux7GKqI/AAAAAAAAAG4/UXsupfAMyWs/s320/101_0034.JPG" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PTPw9Z3z8ws/T7cDvMmzpwI/AAAAAAAAAHE/4ICtQTVR4OM/s1600/101_0035.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PTPw9Z3z8ws/T7cDvMmzpwI/AAAAAAAAAHE/4ICtQTVR4OM/s320/101_0035.JPG" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EPCPaUVKpJU/T7cDvbjwW2I/AAAAAAAAAHQ/OJHF8t2oHpY/s1600/101_0036.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EPCPaUVKpJU/T7cDvbjwW2I/AAAAAAAAAHQ/OJHF8t2oHpY/s320/101_0036.JPG" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-he1fDz8-F_Y/T7cDvnj37bI/AAAAAAAAAHc/ggX0n2tJ1Jw/s1600/101_0040.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-he1fDz8-F_Y/T7cDvnj37bI/AAAAAAAAAHc/ggX0n2tJ1Jw/s320/101_0040.JPG" /></a></div> Day 2: <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-724o1BHzP6Y/T7cFZEe-47I/AAAAAAAAAHo/s8FxlXh76U4/s1600/101_0052.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-724o1BHzP6Y/T7cFZEe-47I/AAAAAAAAAHo/s8FxlXh76U4/s320/101_0052.JPG" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u9V5CHg3eCQ/T7cFZTofe7I/AAAAAAAAAH0/SYxERiOO-Hk/s1600/101_0056.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-u9V5CHg3eCQ/T7cFZTofe7I/AAAAAAAAAH0/SYxERiOO-Hk/s320/101_0056.JPG" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jzv3bQcaXeg/T7cFZytKTCI/AAAAAAAAAIA/UgtOAyo5sBw/s1600/101_0064.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-jzv3bQcaXeg/T7cFZytKTCI/AAAAAAAAAIA/UgtOAyo5sBw/s320/101_0064.JPG" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cdtT1jCn-CA/T7cFaFmW66I/AAAAAAAAAIM/F9WucNso8Sg/s1600/101_0069.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cdtT1jCn-CA/T7cFaFmW66I/AAAAAAAAAIM/F9WucNso8Sg/s320/101_0069.JPG" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zq9LRp0aQ5s/T7cFa6KyPxI/AAAAAAAAAIY/IyQ_tL1OpzE/s1600/101_0084.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zq9LRp0aQ5s/T7cFa6KyPxI/AAAAAAAAAIY/IyQ_tL1OpzE/s320/101_0084.JPG" /></a></div> Day 3: <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fAtQZP_LUwA/T7cGOPLyhgI/AAAAAAAAAIk/fPSU-6pHVAg/s1600/101_0090.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fAtQZP_LUwA/T7cGOPLyhgI/AAAAAAAAAIk/fPSU-6pHVAg/s320/101_0090.JPG" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZbH60V1ujkM/T7cGOtMnu_I/AAAAAAAAAIs/0HkGcme7iHQ/s1600/101_0097.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZbH60V1ujkM/T7cGOtMnu_I/AAAAAAAAAIs/0HkGcme7iHQ/s320/101_0097.JPG" /></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fU2urR1c_aI/T7cGOqBLZ4I/AAAAAAAAAJA/zU-Aa2jts_I/s1600/101_0098.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fU2urR1c_aI/T7cGOqBLZ4I/AAAAAAAAAJA/zU-Aa2jts_I/s320/101_0098.JPG" /></a></div> Day 4: We had maternity photos taken on Day 4 which was Thursday, so my camera stayed home all day. Day 5: All her spots are crusted up! Yay! She still itches her head.. and that definitely is sore.. but she is on her way back to being herself again! We're still waiting to see if the Big Butt is going to get them. She didn't show up with them this time, but with the amount of antagonizing she does, the hugging, the sippy cup sharing, and the number of wrestling matches I've had to break up this week.. I"m willing to bet she's gonna show up with them next! That one should be twice as interesting.. as Big Butt is much more of a complainer than Little Butt. So, as usual. The life of a brokensoul is never dull! If it isn't one thing it's another.. and just wait till you hear what happened last!MomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3641314496251417056.post-40497661669786049072012-12-05T11:26:00.002-08:002012-12-05T11:30:21.714-08:00Mother's Day blah blah blah (repost)All week I've been dreading this day. The day where families come together to celebrate mom. Shower her with presents, love, affection, appreciation, etc. One of those days that I dreamed about when I was a single person with no children. One of the days that I have cherished in my life as a mommy over the last 4 years. But this year, this year it was all different. Mother's Day didn't feel much like a Mother's Day. To be honest, it really sorta felt like any other day. With a couple of variations, but not all that special. <br> </br> I had a dream that Jeremy showed up at my door in the middle of the night with flowers and we spent the whole night/morning cuddling. But of course, dreams only show you what you want, and not what's real, and that just didn't happen. Although it did make for a very emotional night when I woke up and realized it was only a dream. I don't think I got any good sleep for the rest of the night just hoping that I would hear a knock at the door. And then my day started.. <br> </br> I got up.. as usual. No sleeping in for this mommy! <br> </br> I made breakfast.. as usual. I tried to mix it up a bit and make a great awesome Sunday morning breakfast for myself and the girls like my dad has done just about every Sunday for the last couple of years. But the majority of the pancakes were burnt, the eggs had burnt pancake remains in them, and the bacon was not crispy enough for my liking. It took me until 11:30am to finish cooking, I cleaned up after.. and nobody (but me) ate it. <br> </br> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OI0A6AlLwIo/T7CMtzUu_iI/AAAAAAAAAFY/hf-h6AQi-Ek/s1600/yum.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OI0A6AlLwIo/T7CMtzUu_iI/AAAAAAAAAFY/hf-h6AQi-Ek/s320/yum.jpg" /></a></div> I decided to try the 'not doing anything' approach, and sat my pregnant behind on the couch for a while. But after breaking up 4 fights, cleaning up 3 messes, and averting several disasters I decided that just wasn't working for me. So I decided we were going for a walk! <br> </br> Two phone calls and some bribing later.. <br> </br>We found this awesome place a couple days ago called YogurtRush and I am in love with their frozen yogurt! Plus they have a fruit bar where you can add toppings to your frozen yogurt.. amazing! The kids have blueberry and strawberry with various fruits on top, and I get vanilla with raspberries, strawberries, and chocolate! It's a little expensive as fruit is heavy and they charge by the oz.. but well worth it for Mother's Day. <br> </br> After that we came home, little butt took a nap, mommy got some crafting done, and then we had pb&j for dinner. Great dinner.. I really didn't want to cook. Watched a movie and kiddos went to bed! <br> </br> I did get to talk to my dad, talked to Jeremy, and texted for a little bit with my mother, who was flying back to STL from getting my sister set up for her internship in Washington state. But otherwise, it was a pretty normal day. <br> </br> Now I know it sounds here like this entire post is just one big complaint. My Mother's Day sucked. I didn't have my family around, I was super emotional all day about how Mother's Day should be a family day, and parts of my family were missing. All of that is true. But this is about so much more than that. <br> </br> Today was probably the worst Mother's Day that I've had since becoming a mother. It was full of disappointment and loneliness, kids fighting with each other and just about nothing special for mommy. My kids are too little to understand what Mother's Day is about. Luckily, I am not. Because as much as today depressed the hell out of me, there are some things about this Mother's Day that were pretty damn special. <br> </br> #1- This little life in my belly. Ms. Seraphina blessed me today. With every little movement, every big kick, yes even the heartburn that she insisted I have, I remembered why I was chosen to be this little girl's mother. Maybe not her biological mother, but her physical 'I carried you for 9 months' mother. I was given a gift when her embryo was placed in my belly, and nothing can take that away. I have been blessed to have met so many wonderful selfless people, so many of the exact kind of people that I need to be surrounded by on this journey. And in being a mother myself, I can see just how precious she is regardless of her prognosis, her diagnosis, or what anybody else thinks. <br> </br> #2- I have some pretty great mother's backing me up. From the adoptive parents who have given their time, efforts, monies, and words to ensure that I don't feel like total crap.. My own mother who sacrificed pretty much all her disposable income so that I can be doing exactly what I"m doing today and giving the above named child a chance at life. Even just my mommy friends who believe in me and encourage me to keep doing what I do best; loving, caring, and working my butt off to make sure that the people I care about are safe, loved, and protected. <br> </br> This Mother's Day was just one in a lifetime of Mother's Days to come. And yeah, it sucked. But it is also very special in its own little way. This year instead of celebrating my life as a mother as a part of this family that I am a part of (that I love and am especially blessed to have) I am celebrating life as mother, and more importantly, protector of all that I hold sacred. Because being a mom is about more than the presents, the showering of affection, and the acts of gratitude that our families show us on this one day a year (which should happen every day if you ask me). Being a mom is about protecting those you care about, putting their needs before your own, and taking care of everyone in the best way you can. And this Mother's Day.. that's exactly what I"m doing. <br> </br> Happy Mother's Day.. to all the mothers!MomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3641314496251417056.post-40439112360219969352012-12-05T11:22:00.003-08:002012-12-05T11:22:26.271-08:00the girls say hello 6/8/11<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This video is adorable.. just the girls, being themselves <3<object width="320" height="266" class="BLOG_video_class" id="BLOG_video-2e12278288e20f3" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="movie" value="//www.youtube.com/get_player"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="flashvars" value="flvurl=http://redirector.googlevideo.com/videoplayback?id%3D02e12278288e20f3%26itag%3D5%26source%3Dblogger%26app%3Dblogger%26cmo%3Dsensitive_content%253Dyes%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1364599253%26sparams%3Did,itag,source,ip,ipbits,expire%26signature%3D9F0A8638B6E89192C49DF912CCDDFFEA1CE75B1E.8DEEB11FED4868DADEF65DE1BBC93AA684243D64%26key%3Dck2&iurl=http://video.google.com/ThumbnailServer2?app%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D2e12278288e20f3%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw160%26sigh%3DTsJra4y-6XLGypdHyd76FBxFqfw&autoplay=0&ps=blogger"><embed src="//www.youtube.com/get_player" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="320" height="266" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" flashvars="flvurl=http://redirector.googlevideo.com/videoplayback?id%3D02e12278288e20f3%26itag%3D5%26source%3Dblogger%26app%3Dblogger%26cmo%3Dsensitive_content%253Dyes%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1364599253%26sparams%3Did,itag,source,ip,ipbits,expire%26signature%3D9F0A8638B6E89192C49DF912CCDDFFEA1CE75B1E.8DEEB11FED4868DADEF65DE1BBC93AA684243D64%26key%3Dck2&iurl=http://video.google.com/ThumbnailServer2?app%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D2e12278288e20f3%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw160%26sigh%3DTsJra4y-6XLGypdHyd76FBxFqfw&autoplay=0&ps=blogger" allowFullScreen="true" /></object></div>MomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3641314496251417056.post-19289717541774156962012-12-05T11:21:00.000-08:002012-12-05T11:21:10.522-08:00Little butt is walking! (repost)<i>(originally posted 6/8/11)</i> </br><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TfNZGwrFYIA/Te_gvvkHTaI/AAAAAAAAABU/Q4ODquGIELU/s1600/jerphone+622.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TfNZGwrFYIA/Te_gvvkHTaI/AAAAAAAAABU/Q4ODquGIELU/s320/jerphone+622.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />After ages of crawling, a few weeks of standing up by herself, and what seemed like forever waiting for her to take the plunge... Little butt has finally taken off!<br /><br />I've been trying to keep the camera out for a couple days now to capture her new-found skills, but until this afternoon my attempts were all thwarted by a lack of cooperation, interfering siblings and animals, and bad videography skills on my part !The picture above was managed while we were at the Coventry Farmer's Market the other day.. a rare victory for mommy's picture-taking skills! <br /><br />Finally, this afternoon we were all outside and perfect timing shone on our little corner of the yard.. she only walked for the first half of the video.. but you can tell she'd already been walking to that point.. and she went quite a ways before deciding to crawl the rest of the way to Buster (and feed him her cracker.. how sweet).<br /><br />So.. without further ado- Here she is.. Miss Irelyn Kelley.. WALKING!!! <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><object width="320" height="266" class="BLOG_video_class" id="BLOG_video-80bf64b18c93fe67" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="movie" value="//www.youtube.com/get_player"><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="flashvars" value="flvurl=http://redirector.googlevideo.com/videoplayback?id%3D80bf64b18c93fe67%26itag%3D5%26source%3Dblogger%26app%3Dblogger%26cmo%3Dsensitive_content%253Dyes%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1364599253%26sparams%3Did,itag,source,ip,ipbits,expire%26signature%3D7778D71D7233DEF574E2468D7DD930E54C9623C2.6791BC539E6434961DA24DA0305A5A36F3DE62E8%26key%3Dck2&iurl=http://video.google.com/ThumbnailServer2?app%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D80bf64b18c93fe67%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw160%26sigh%3D-_ZfwR2ZV8bRI8PoJNbgqFnQ-MI&autoplay=0&ps=blogger"><embed src="//www.youtube.com/get_player" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="320" height="266" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" flashvars="flvurl=http://redirector.googlevideo.com/videoplayback?id%3D80bf64b18c93fe67%26itag%3D5%26source%3Dblogger%26app%3Dblogger%26cmo%3Dsensitive_content%253Dyes%26ip%3D0.0.0.0%26ipbits%3D0%26expire%3D1364599253%26sparams%3Did,itag,source,ip,ipbits,expire%26signature%3D7778D71D7233DEF574E2468D7DD930E54C9623C2.6791BC539E6434961DA24DA0305A5A36F3DE62E8%26key%3Dck2&iurl=http://video.google.com/ThumbnailServer2?app%3Dblogger%26contentid%3D80bf64b18c93fe67%26offsetms%3D5000%26itag%3Dw160%26sigh%3D-_ZfwR2ZV8bRI8PoJNbgqFnQ-MI&autoplay=0&ps=blogger" allowFullScreen="true" /></object></div>MomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3641314496251417056.post-2000735412258957932012-12-05T11:12:00.000-08:002012-12-05T11:12:05.267-08:00Memorial day (repost 2011)<i>(originally posted 5/30/11)</i>Memorial Day brings along with it some very profound feelings. Some are expected, and others not so much.<br /><br />As Americans, most people experience Memorial Day as a time to celebrate the fact that we live in a free nation. We hold barbecues and cookouts, go camping and enjoy the outdoors that our beautiful country have to offer. We also celebrate the beginning of summer, the promise of warm weather and beautiful days and refreshingly warm nights. We look forward to pool parties, auto racing, driving with the windows down, and other things that come along with summer.<br /><br />Additionally, the holiday can bring forth some feelings that are less desirable. Those of us with family that are not with us can feel lonely, sad, even depressed. Holidays are not joyous for all, and that is one of the hardest things to deal with as I look around at all the families I know having fun and enjoying themselves on this, what should be a happy weekend.<br /><br />I try very hard not to dwell on these ill feelings, but to remember what I do have, what I do love, and the people that show me every day why life is worth living and caring about. I don't have a lot of people that I hold dear.. I don't have the happy experiences that most people feel on these holidays where we celebrate with family and friends. But I do cherish and hold dear my own family, the little people I am entrusted with. While I don't enjoy spending time with a family I don't belong to, I do enjoy watching them interact with my own little ones.<br /><br />So on this day of American Pride, this day of happiness and celebration I would like to share with you some of the things my own personal family and I did to celebrate. I thank every service-man and woman for doing their job so that I can have this opportunity to share this time with my little girls. Thank you especially to my cousin Spencer, my aunt Mary-Jane who has passed, and all the people I know personally who have been, are, and will continue to be in service to our great nation. I am a proud American, even if I don't always enjoy the holidays :)<br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QkXPOcNzg30/TeQ-VUyJg_I/AAAAAAAAAAc/xFv8GV3egC8/s1600/021.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-QkXPOcNzg30/TeQ-VUyJg_I/AAAAAAAAAAc/xFv8GV3egC8/s320/021.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />I hope you all enjoyed your weekend! Let freedom ring!! (and for me.. let life resume to normal once again!)<br /><br /><br />Happy Memorial Day!!MomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3641314496251417056.post-87864963299660226592012-12-05T11:09:00.000-08:002012-12-05T11:09:36.265-08:00nobody wants a nanny (repost) <i>(originally posted 525/11) </br>/</i>Over the course of the last few months, I've begun searching for a job.<br /><br />Now, in the current economy, finding a job is presumably harder than it used to be. So it goes without saying that I figured it would take me a while to find something that is suitable. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would still be searching after a year and a half had passed since my last employment. I have a proven record in child-care, with over 10 years experience. I've worked for two different daycare centers, and as a nanny for three families. I hold certification in Child Day-Care, an Associates in Human Service Management, and am training as a birth and postpartum doula. So what, you may ask, seems to be the problem?<br /><br />The problem is that nobody wants a nanny.<br /><br />Or at least a nanny with children.. <br /><br />I am a member of three different nanny search websites. My profile on each site states very clearly that I have two children that I would be bringing with me to the job. I have applied for, in the past three months, a total of 78 jobs (that is not an estimate). Most of the time my applications go without a response. Those that do respond always ask the same question "Are you looking for something you can bring your kids to?" No people, I want to leave my kids in daycare and miss out on their lives so that I can take care of yours.. OF COURSE I want to bring my babies along!<br /><br />Now, nannying has always been my go-to job of choice. I've done it for years, I'm good at it, and I have great references that can back me up on those claims. I was lucky enough when my oldest daughter was born to find a great family that would let me bring her along. My daughters have both grown up with me caring for other children, either full time or on an as-needed basis. It seems, however, that since the job market has gotten so tight, people seem to think that having your own children, and wanting to be involved in their lives makes you a bad candidate for child care. I understand the concerns, but here are my reasons that I think having kids makes me a great candidate to be someone's perfect nanny:<br /><br /><u><b>1. I've seen it all: </b></u><br />By hiring a nanny who has children of their own, you know that they will be prepared for anything. There will be a distinct lack of panicked phone calls to your place of work about things that are not emergencies (including but not limited to: lost shoes/socks, potty accidents, crayon drawings on the walls, bumps and bruises, teething fevers, refusal to nap, etc). You can be assured that I"ve handled every infant feeding situation and toddler adventure your child can throw at me, probably without batting an eyelid.<br /><br /><u><b>2. Your kids will get as much attention as my own:</b></u><br />Now, I know this is one of the main concerns of parents who are looking to hire a nanny. They're afraid that a nanny with her own children is going to pay more attention to her own, and less attention to theirs. However, this simply is just not the case!! If a person has had a career as a nanny, chances are they're pretty familiar with the idea that they are one of the main resources that your children have. They learn from their caregivers, it is their job to teach them. I know before I had children of my own, I always called my nanny charges 'my kids'. I loved them as if they were mine and I did my absolute best to do right by them and teach them the best I could. That did not change when I had my own children! I am still committed to the idea that I am a teacher for the children I care for, I am a major influence in their life, and I have a job to make sure they are well cared for and well educated. Therefore, the same attention that I give to my kids to make sure their needs are met, I will provide for your kids. In my opinion, me having my kids actually ensures that your kids will get MORE attention because I will have to plan activities and do things as a group just to keep everyone entertained!<br /><br /><u><b>3. I know all the best kid-oriented activities and events:</b></u><br />Having children, I know where to go with children, what works when entertaining children, and how to find great things to do with children! You see, my life already revolves around children, why not use that to your advantage! I know I'd rather do the same thing in my work-life as I do in my non-working life, it makes it easier! <br /><br /><u><b>4. Your child will actually BENEFIT: </b></u><br />One of the greatest things about having my own kids with me when I work with other children is the benefits that they all receive. I have worked with many families, and I have seen firsthand how children develop social relationships. I can say with a degree of confidence that many children who receive private care instead of daycare do not have a lot of contact with other children. Social development is important at a young age to help children be better able to adapt to situations where interaction is necessary, such as school. With my children around (since I only apply for jobs where the children are around the same ages as my own) my nanny charges have playmates. They have buddies. They learn about sharing, about playing together and being nice to others. These are skills that will benefit them for a lifetime!<br /><br />In closing, I know that the job market is tough. These opinions are my own and I can completely understand the concerns of people who do not know me or my philosophies on children and learning. Maybe I"m just a little frustrated. But after a year of searching for a job, and facing the reality that I may have to put my own children into childcare just to make an income, I don't feel that my frustrations are without validity. I am a great nanny; my track record speaks volumes to that effect. I just wish somebody would give me the chance!<br /><br />*On a side-note. It is my BIGGEST pet peeve when people contact me looking for care, having read my profile and knowing that I have children to bring along, and then tell me that they want someone to come work alone or they feel it would be too many children to handle. If you feel that way, why did you contact me in the first place!?*MomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3641314496251417056.post-82060713077536961612012-12-05T11:06:00.000-08:002012-12-05T11:06:50.261-08:00<i>(originally posted 5/24/11) </br></i> I'd like to say I've got life figured out.<br /><br />I'd like to say that I am exactly where I want to be and that I've got life by the horns, directing it where I want it to go and taking no prisoners along the way.<br /><br />However, if I said those things, I'd be lying.<br /><br />My story is long and complicated. Much too much for this, my first blog post on my brand new blog. It's been fraught with hardship, complication, joy, sadness, change, learning, and a myriad of other situations and occurrences that I can't even begin to go through in a simple and understandable format.<br />Let's just say it's been a journey.<br /><br />This journey has taken me places I never thought imaginable. I am a high school graduate, an experienced horse-woman, a daycare provider, an auntie, a sister, a friend, and an entrepreneur. I am also a mom, a naturalist, a cloth diapering freak, a breastfeeding advocate, a natural birth lover, an intactivist, a parental rights believer, doula in training, and to some.. a hippie lost in the wrong time period. Some of these things I am better at than others ;) Above all, I am me. As the quote says "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." Thank goodness for Marilyn Monroe, she really got it right there!<br /><br />I've been to hell and back, and I've learned a lot along the way. Four years ago I really thought I had life figured out. Living on my own, my little apartment with my nanny job, my friends and family, a history of depression that I finally had under control, my religious beliefs (which are more life philosophies) and my own little niche in the world. Then two little pink lines changed everything forever.<br /><br />Becoming a parent is the single most defining thing that ever happened to me. It changed everything. From dealing with a child with a heart defect, fighting postpartum depression, and realizing that the world wasn't about me anymore, I felt lost. I thought that it was dually the best and worst thing that ever happened to me.<br /><br />Then came #2. They are now 15 months and almost 3. ButtButt is a crazy whirlwind of a child, spirited in her own ways, who loves to be active, has communication 'issues', and loves to play puzzles, watch "Ana-ina" (Angelina Ballerina) jump on her trampoline and give mommy snuggles and kisses. BooBoo is a little more laid back, (as long as she's being held!) a booby monster, and just learning how to get into everything. We're not perfect, but we have a lot of fun!! <br /><br />Over the course of having and raising my children, I'm slowly finding my way back. I"m learning all over again who I am, and what is important. I know that my children are the single most important thing in my life and I am oh so blessed to have them. They are the only ones who I will have the most influence upon, and I thank my lucky stars every day that I have them. They have made me re-evaluate my priorities, take a good look at myself, and I am a better person for every day I spend with them. I've developed an innate sense of personal responsibility which as led me to challenge choices that I would have made for children I provided daycare for in a heartbeat. My nutrition, medical opinions, safety and career choices have been drastically changed just because these two little lives became mine to cherish and nurture. I hope I do well by them.<br /><br />SO.. since this is already becoming long (lol, I tend to do that when I start writing) I'll close by saying that even thought I"ve got a pretty good handle on things at the present moment, I certainly don't have it all figured out. I've got a good idea where I"m going, but life throws many obstacles and challenges our way every day. Keep your eyes and ears tuned for all sorts of really fun and amazing stuff. I really hope to keep up with this blog a little better than my last attempt, and I shall be posting recipies, natural living tips, my surrogacy adventure, deals and events going on in the area, and my personal reflections and musings in general right here, for your enjoyment. So hold on tight.. its going to be a great ride!<br /><br />Kristal (and BooBoo who is refusing to sleep)MomSurroDoulahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18276102468570910493noreply@blogger.com0